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Sunday, December 5, 2010

Chapter 16 - Another Prisoner

What do you mean Jonathan's not locked up in solitary confinement?  So the idiot's too stupid to have figured out an escape plan, and then he's too boring to have gotten himself properly locked up?  What the hell kind of story is this?  One of those "good guy gets unfairly imprisoned, the court reconvenes, and then everyone goes home happily ever after"?  I mean, shit, he's not even trying to save the girl or his army buddies.  I mean, if I was the author, I'd have this protagonist shot.  And I don't mean in the leg.

Chapter 15 - To the Dungeon

What?  You thought we'd get through this whole story without putting Jonathan in a dungeon?  Hah - likely story.  Seriously - have you ever read a story about dragons that didn't have a dungeon in it somewhere?  Preferably one with rats and cobwebs and other nasty critters?

Let's see if our dungeon measures up to the horrors of the Dark-Because-a-Dragon-Burned-Out-Your Eyeballs Ages...

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Chapter 14 - The Duchess of Evil Arrives

Well, if you can't root for the good guys because they're a bunch of loser pogues, then at least we have some evil dominatrix chick...let's just hope she's evil enough to keep the plot going...

Chapter 13 - Gremlins

What the hell, dude?  You had a freakin' machine gun!!  You were supposed to kick some butt, man - not get your ass handed to you!(!!)

Chapter 12 - The Fairy Godmother

It's about freakin' time you used that machine gun...jeez, took you long enough...

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Chapter 11 - Morning Walk

What - you thought this was a chapter about bankruptcy?  More like a chapter about the lingering pain of slowly dying.  I mean walking.  Because I hate walking.  Really, really hate it.  That's why I sit around all day typing stories about people who will be eaten alive if they stop long enough to sit.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Chapter 10 - Don't Sit on the Ground!!

When the woman sitting on the dragon carcass tells you to stay off the ground, she means for you to stay off the freakin' ground!!

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